1. Breathe easy and be in your love bubble those first few months, weeks or days before the planning begins. Treasure the promise you’re making and the future that’s in front of you. The intensity and stressful decision-making will come soon enough.

2. The engagement party, if you decide to have one, is held within a few months of the proposal, and can be as formal or as casual as you like. This guest list can be big or small, but limit it to people you will invite to the wedding. Have games if you like, or just music and food. Engagement parties can involve gifts, and you will likely be expected to open them at the party. If that doesn’t sound appealing, request no gifts in the invitation, or ask that in lieu of gifts, guests bring a favorite wine or something else to share—a food item or pictures of the happy couple, perhaps?

3. A wedding budget is essential and should be established early because it will guide your decisions. Sit down as a couple and determine how much money you can contribute. Then, each person should speak with his or her parents about what kind of financial help is possible. Tradition used to dictate that the bride’s family pays for the wedding day, while the groom’s family covers the rehearsal dinner. Things are rarely done this way anymore; don’t feel uncomfortable if your family can’t foot the entire bill. Don’t automatically expect parents to foot the entire bill, either. And beware: This can be a very sensitive conversation for all involved, so tread lightly.

When you have determined the total figure you can spend, stick to it. Most magazines, including this one, have budget trackers to guide you on how much you should spend where. (See ours on page 92). Here’s a hint: If you find the venue for $4,500, but you’ve budgeted $2,000, then it’s not the perfect venue.

4. If you plan to hire a wedding planner, do so as soon as possible. Planners can be hired to help for the entire wedding planning process, for a week or two before, or just for the wedding day.

If you can’t afford a planner, keep costs down by involving family and friends. Let your parents in—ask how they’d like to be involved. Delegate tasks—especially details that aren’t that important to you—by finding out who’s good at what. Friends who like to plan parties can come in handy.

5. If you’re not hiring a planner, now’s the time to pick the venue and the date. Have a few dates in mind because venue availability will probably be the deciding factor. You’ll want to book a venue at least six months to one year in advance of your desired wedding date—some places even book a year to two out.

6. This step may precede choosing a venue and a date. Regardless, the guest list is a difficult task, and arguably influences your budget more than anything else. Up to 50 percent of your budget goes toward food and drinks for guests. If you can cut a table or two, you’ll save a chunk of change.

If your event is on the small side, this can mean leaving some family members or friends off the list. Agree on some ground rules. How many people can you afford to include, based on your caterer's estimated price-per-person?

Start the list with immediate family members, bridal party and best friends, followed by aunts, uncles, cousins and close friends. Next, list neighbors, coworkers and parents’ friends. If you need to trim the list, cut from the bottom up.

7. Hire your photographer and caterer and choose your cake and dress. Regarding photo-graphy, do your research. Meet the photographer and look at his portfolio.

Catering choices may be limited by the venue. Are you serving alcohol? If so, are you providing specific beverages like beer and wine, or an open bar?

Getting to cake: Options run the gamut, from the traditional multi-tiered wedding cake to cheesecake, cupcakes, ice cream or a candy bar. Your imagination and your budget are the only limits on dessert. Ah, the dress. Our advice here is simple: Keep an open mind—you might be surprised at what feels right.

8. Do you want a wedding band? Some brides are opting out of wedding bands, sticking with a solitaire-only or a larger, chunkier engagement ring. If you do want a wedding band, what will look appropriate with your engagement ring? A simple white gold band, or something less predictable? A family heirloom may hit the mark.

For him: Does your groom-to-be break or lose things often? That should factor in to the metal choice for his ring. For instance, gold is a soft metal that scratches easily, but tungsten can be run over by a truck without showing wear.

9. This is something brides often delegate to grooms, but you should decide together if you want to hire a live band, a DJ or use an iPod.

10. The wedding is one day—five or six hours. Every decision seems to carry weight, so make an effort to keep things in perspective. If things aren't perfect, it's likely no one else will know. That said, make contingency plans.

When you get overwhelmed, take a deep breath and step back. Compromise. Pick your battles. The end result will be worth all the stress you endure!